guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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