there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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