i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So many bounce houses so little time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
