Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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