i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
