I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
