Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex on a dog bed..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
