i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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