Porn is love you can see.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
