Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
