just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
