Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
