please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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