Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
