im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
