I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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