Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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