Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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