All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
