i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
