You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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