How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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