Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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