i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
