im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
