Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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