i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
