So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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