Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
