Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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