i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
