i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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