I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
