you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it because I queefed?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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