not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
