Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I will pee on everything he values.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
