Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
