I got her a Nickelback box set.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
