its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
