dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
