seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
