So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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