at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't deserve a penis
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
