I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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