i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
