Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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