Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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