Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
