i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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