i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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