you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
