You just made me feel so damn special
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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