chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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